Have you ever read Bible verses like I Corinthians 9:24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize,"and thought to yourself that you can't really relate to what it says? I have! You see, I have never been a runner. I have always despised running. I couldn't relate to verses that said stuff like "run with perseverance" or anything about getting a prize really. I avoided running at all costs. Well, that all changed a few months ago.
In March I got this bright idea that I should try running. I don't know what really brought it on but I woke up early one morning before the sun came up to see what I could muster up while being completely clothed in darkness. I wouldn't want anyone to see me fail, you see. Run I did, (ok, lets be honest, it was barely a jog) for an entire 45 seconds.... Yep, it confirmed my suspicions that I was not a runner.
I came home that day and started to look up stuff about jogging online. I read about doing a Couch to 5K. I had heard about people talking about this sort of thing before but when others talked about it my eyes would glaze over. After all, I am not a runner.
It only took me a few weeks of jogging a minute and walking about a minute and a half for about 20 minutes to begin to enjoy it. Yep I said it, while I was still jogging quite slowly, I began to enjoy it. That all changed. In May my friend got this bright idea to run in a 5K on the Xi'an wall on November 3rd. I was hesitant. It sounded exciting but the idea of running with so many people terrified (I guess it still terrifies) me. The first reason being that people would have to see me run. I don't even want to see me run. It is not a pretty sight. The second reason being that I thought there was no way I was going to be able to finish the race.
Well, I agreed to do it and soon began to regret that decision. I began to lose the joy of jogging. It became a chore and something that I had to do instead of something that I enjoyed doing. I realized that I was afraid of failing. I was afraid that I would not be able to finish the race. This fear crippled me and robbed my joy.
I am still running in the 5K on the wall in November. Will I be able to run the whole thing? Probably not! In fact, even after months of running, I am only able to run 3 minutes at a time. A little improvement from the initial 45 seconds but not all that much. I decided not to care. I decided to persevere even though I was afraid of failing.
Today it dawned on me that while I am not training for first place, I am training, and that for me is the prize! The joy is returning slowly... about as slowly as I jog. :)
3 comments:
Mara,
I'm so excited for you. Loni has been hinting at me running for awhile now. I feel just like you. Running is something I've avoided my whole life. Maybe you will motivate this old one to give it a try?
My dad forwarded your blog. I have fallen in love with running over the last couple of years and I must say, good for your for trying it out! The process is difficult but there comes a day when, suddenly, you realize it´s enjoyable, and then you realize that you feel so much better after that you actually love it.
Keep up the good work! Hugs!
Way to Go Mara!! Last summer I WALKED my First and even a Second 5K. I trained to walk them. Even made improvement on my second one. Of course that one may have been my last since I broke my knee this March but one never knows. I may make it up to WALKING 5K again! Keep Running!!!
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