Stress...

I covet your thoughts right now. It has been a highly stressful time and I have been dealing with some culture stress. This is normal for those who live in other cultures and yet it is very frustrating at the same time.

We are almost finished with the body of the building we are remodeling for our culture center. My colleagues and I have been dealing day in and day out with people and have all found this draining. I can see my own cultural upbringing coming out in the values I hold dear. Honesty is a value we hold highly in the US. I think the Chinese would say they do as well but we come at it from very different viewpoints. Take the word 马上 (mashang) for example. This words direct translation into English is "immediately." We foreigners think this word should mean what is says....it does not. Instead it means sometime relatively soon. It could mean 5 minutes from now or it could be 2 hours from now. It is left to the hearer to guess what time they are actually saying.

The other day I had a conversation on the phone with someone who was going to deliver and install kitchen cabinets. It went something like this...

Me: When do you think the cabinets will be done?
Him: No problem! No problem!
Me: Does no problem mean they will be delivered today?
Him: No problem! No problem!
Me: What do you mean by no problem?
Him: Today! No problem!
Me: Great! You will be able to deliver them today? What time?
Him: No problem!
Me: What time today do you think you will deliver them? I must have an idea so that I can arrange to be there when you come.
Him: (He is very frustrated now.) No problem!
Me: (Probably even more frustrated at this point...) What time can you come?
Him: Tomorrow

It is many, many conversations like this that start to become draining after awhile. I just wish people would be upfront with me in the first place and tell me what the real situation is instead of what they think I want to hear.

The next day I received a conversation from the same man.

Him: The doors have arrived. We are coming right now.
Me: Sorry, I have something else I must do right now. Can you come at three?
Him: What time?
Me: Three o'clock
Him: You want us to come at three?
Me: Yes, three o'clock!
Him: Can you be there any earlier?
Me: No I can't. I will be there at three.
Him: Ok...see you at three.

A t 12:15 -- A couple hours later...

Him: I am at the place. Where are you?
Me: We said three. I will be there at three.
Him: But I am already here.
Me: I am sorry but I am not near the building, I am working someplace else. I will be there at three.
Him: How far away are you? Can't you come right now?
Me: No, that is not possible. I will be there at three.
Him: Three?
Me: Yes Three!
Him: Three?
Me: Yes, One, Two, Three...Three o'clock!
Him: (Very frustrated) I am hanging up now.

I arrived at the building at 2:30. He was sitting outside waiting for me. It was to be discovered that the door to the cabinets we had been waiting for were actually not the ones we had ordered. Very frustrating!

These sorts of conversations have been part of my daily life over the past several months. I don't want to sound like I am complaining. I understand that things are just handled differently here and yet it does start to wear on you after awhile. The ambiguity of daily life can be tough on a planned person such as myself.

Please ask that all Joy would not be drained from me as we near the end of this process. Ask that He would give me strength. Ask that I would be able to extend grace to others as well as to myself during this time. I need His patience. I have found myself to be extremely impatient as of late.